At Penn's 250th Commencement last weekend, guest speaker Jodie Foster treated graduates to her shower-hour rendition of Eminem's "Lose Yourself."

Why, Jodie? Why?

Perhaps she thought it would appeal to her audience; perhaps she harbors a hidden desire to break into the rap biz. Either way, it was embarrassing.

On the Smug Spectrum of humilation, we give it a solid 8, situating it somewhere between getting caught picking your nose and walking in on your parents having sex.

I love AOL news -- the McJournalism of today's electronic media. They are reporting today on Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton's apology to young people everywhere, after telling an audience that our generation thinks "work is a four-letter word."

The apology was precipitated by her daughter, Chelsea, who called to complain after learning about the comments.

"She called and she said, 'Mom, I do work hard and my friends work hard,"' Clinton said Sunday.

"I said, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to convey the impression that you don't work hard,"' Clinton said Sunday in a commencement address at Long Island University. "I just want to set the bar high, because we are in a competition for the future."

Clinton spoke to more than 2,000 graduates days after she criticized young people at a gathering of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in Washington. In those remarks, she said young people have a sense of entitlement after growing up in a "culture that has a premium on instant gratification."

Take it up with Bill, Hill; or at least come up with a little hipper idiom. I mean, our grandparents' parents were telling them they think work is a four-letter word, and as far as I know, their President wasn't getting "instant gratification" from interns in the Oval Office.

Anyway, AOL is apparently so riveted by the story that they are polling readers on the stupidest question ever -- whether or not they think work is in fact a four-letter word.

Ummm, yes AOL. It is definitely a four-letter word; and for your sake, you better hope that your readers agree.

Smug has a new stalker, and she wants him to know how much she appreciates the worship.

The stalker thinks I'm hot and generally spends about 30 minutes browsing my blog every night. He is a local, which--although flattering--is a little bit unnerving; and he appears to be a student or professional at the University of Illinois Chicago.

To answer your question, anonymous stalker, I am not single, although I am hot. I have been married for about a year and a half (which you would know, had you done your research).

While I appreciate your interest, I should tell you that my I have no intention of abandoning the standing lay, come hell or highwater. First of all, he is hotter than I am, so we will undoubtedly have beautiful children. Secondly, he is outstanding in bed. Just ask our neighbors.

Thanks for the flattery, and please do come back to visit. But this pussy is staying put. Just so you know.