On this day in history, in the year 1955, the U.S. Customs Department confiscated 520 copies of Allen Ginsberg's book Howl, amidst allegations that the book was obscene.

City Lights, a publishing company and bookstore in San Francisco owned by poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti, proceeded to publish the book in the fall of 1956. The publication led to Ferlinghetti's arrest on obscenity charges. Ferlinghetti was bailed out by the American Civil Liberties Union, which led the legal defense. Nine literary experts testified at the trial that the poem was not obscene, and Ferlinghetti was found not guilty.

Howl, which created a literary earthquake among the literary community when Ginsberg first read the poem in 1955, still stands as an important monument to the countercultural fervor of the late 1950s and '60s. (via the History Channel)

Coincidentally, today is also the ten-day anniversary of the Federal Communication Commission's (FCC) record 3.6 million dollar fine against CBS and its affiliates for indecent programming.

It's nice to know that U.S. culture has evolved in the past half-century. Or not.

Reuters is reporting today that the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has returned the first test images from its super high-resolution cameras, the most powerful photographic equipment to be trained on the Red Planet in NASA's search for water and life.

Scientists believe that water may be abundant on Mars in the form of ice. According to Alfred McEwen, a mission scientist and University of Arizona professor of planetary science, "It's not a matter of finding water on Mars but learning its importance in climate change . . . and clearly it has been important to shaping the landscape."

One of the most intriguing images suggests that the Red Planet may even sustain some form of simple, unintelligent life. Smug Nugget has obtained the exclusive photo below:

As I doubt you've heard, Italy is gearing up for a big election in April, which will determine whether incumbent Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi remains in office for another five years.

The controversial media baron-turned-politician is currently trailing opposition leader and former Prime Minister Romano Prodi in the polls. The race is expected to be close, and there is a great deal at stake, for the candidates as well as the country.

What an unfortunate time for the incumbent Prime Minister to get caught on VIDEO picking his nose and eating its contents!!!

He better hope the voters like him as much as he likes his own boogers.

I'm sorry, cum again?

Doctors are apparently calling for more research into a very rare, poorly understood syndrome known as persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS), which causes constant, unprovoked feelings of excitement.

"Persistent sexual arousal syndrome occurs when a woman becomes involuntarily aroused for extended periods of time in the absence of sexual desire," said Dr. David Goldmeier of St. Mary's Hospital in London.

But rather than being a pleasant sensation, Goldmeier, who described PSAS in a report in the International Journal of STD & AIDS, said it is embarrassing and very distressing for women. (via CNN.com)

Forgive me if this sounds insensitive, but some of us are just grateful when it works at all.

After years of speculation about the stability of the housing market, the real estate bubble finally popped--I'm sorry, EXPLODED--today when the government reported a record 10.5% drop in the sales of new U.S. homes.

Read more about it at Business Week Online.

Thank god I rent.

Poor Dave Lenihan. The two-week-new talk jock for KTRS radio in St. Louis got the ax on Wednesday after an unfortunate slip of the tongue. He sorta kinda not-really but almost called Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice a coon. On the air. While thousands of people were listening.

Big, BIG oops.

It went a little something like this:

"She's been chancellor of Stanford," said Lenihan, discussing Rice's potential candidacy to replace retiring NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue. "She's got the patent resume of somebody that has serious skill. She loves football. She's African-American, which would kind of be a big coon. A big coon. Oh my God. I am totally, totally, totally, totally, totally sorry for that."

In case you were wondering, he meant to say "coup" instead of "coon." You can download the wma file here, via the St. Louis Dispatch.

The talk jock was fired faster than you can say "politically incorrect," and not just by the radio station. Lenihan was also released from his job at Logan College of Chiropractic, where he has been teaching anatomy and neuroanatomy since September 2004.

I detest racial epithets, but come on, folks. It is apparent as the gap between Condoleezza's teeth that this was little more than a verbal misstep, and frankly, I think Lenihan's bosses are gigantic pussies for not coming to his defense.

The good news: Lenihan is getting mad publicity and will probably end up better off in the long run. Even so, Smug feels his pain. Verbal diarrhea can burn your ass, just like the other kind.

Charlie Sheen has joined the 9/11 gone-bonkers brigade. The "Two and a Half Men" star gave a bizarre interview on GGN Radio Network's conspiracy-minded "The Alex Jones Show," in which he suggested that the federal government was covering up what "really" happened.

"It seems to me like 19 amateurs with boxcutters taking over four commercial airliners and hitting 75 percent of their targets, that feels like a conspiracy theory. It raises a lot of questions," Sheen said. "A couple of years ago, it was severely unpopular to talk about any of this. It feels like from the people I talk to, and the research I've done and around my circles, it feels like the worm is turning."

Sheen said the collapse of the Twin Towers looked like a "controlled demolition." The out-there actor also expressed his disbelief over how one of the planes hit the Pentagon. "Just show us how this particular plane pulled off these maneuvers . . . It is up to us to reveal the truth. It is up to us because we owe it to the families, we owe it to the victims, we owe it to everyone's life who was drastically altered, horrifically, that day and forever. We owe it to them to uncover what happened." (via Page Six)

If you have yet to see the Up Series you must, you must, you MUST!

This compelling documentary follows the lives of fourteen Brits, diverse in age, race, gender, and socio-economic background, from the age of seven to adulthood. Every seven years, the documentarians reconnect with each subject in an attempt to substantiate the old axiom: "Show me the child at seven, and I'll show you the man."

If you have ever wondered how much age or experience has changed you, this is an absolute must-see.

I just finished watching the latest episode of Lost, and, as is my weekly ritual, I paid a post-show visit to the ABC.com message boards to see what other addicts are saying. For the record, I detest message boards. They are the mac-and-cheese of online dialogue, the McNugget, if you will, of electronic nuggets; yet I return, week after week, in hope of delaying the inevitable end of the show I most enjoy just a few moments longer.

Tonight I stumbled upon a particularly ridiculous, off-topic exchange, which led me to consider the question: What makes a blog a blog, and a board a board?

The nuances are subtle.

1. Bloggers determine content. Boarders respond to content.
2. Bloggers create a network. Boarders join a network.
3. Bloggers observe. Boarders comment.
4. Bloggers are sexy. Boarders, not so much.

The SAT analogy might look something like this:

Blog: Board as:

a. preparation : extempore
b. syllable : elision
c. composer : symphony
d. geognosy : rock
e. marigold : fungus

What would you say? Look for my answer next week at http://smugnugget.blogspot.com.

This story is more depressing than the future of Cruise's unborn child.

On March 13, 2003, Jeremy Perkins, a 28 year old untreated schizophrenic, stabbed his mother Elli 77 times. She bled to death on her bedroom floor. Jeremy is currently being held at Rochester Psychiatric Center, having been found not responsible for Elli's murder by reason of mental disease or defect.

Perkins, his mother and father, his sister, and her husband are all members of the Church of Scientology, a group that believes modern psychiatric medicine derives from an ancient alien civilization's plot to drug and enslave humanity. At the time of his mother's death, Jeremy Perkins was allegedly taking vitamins to combat his mental illness.

Scientology critics are running the ad below in protest in selected newspapers, which include the Buffalo Beast (a weekly paper in Buffalo, NY, where Elli lived), the Spectrum (student newspaper of SUNY Buffalo), and the Jackson Hole Daily, in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.



See PerkinsTragedy.org for more information.

CNN is crying nanny nanny boo boo in response to yesterday's announcement that Gallup was dropping them due to low ratings. A spokesperson for the cable news organization released the following statment:

Jim Clifton's statements are not only unprofessional but in every respect untrue...While we appreciate that Gallup does not wish to have any broadcasting partner for the future, I must note that CEO Jim Clifton's excuse to his employees for ending the relationship has no basis in fact...It is unfortunate that Mr. Clifton's insecurity about the strength of the Gallup brand has pushed him to send out an inaccurate e-mail to his staff.

Boo-yaa, Gallup. How do you like them apples?

Thanks to kindred blogger, NuggetMaven, for this absolutely re-DONK-ulous link. Should appeal equally to athletes and deviants.

And remember: double the cup size equals double the fun.

Gazing out my window at Chicago's absolutely magnificent skyline (of which I am privileged to have a view), I feel compelled to go on record as saying that the Vagina Building definitely DOES NOT look like a vagina.

For those of you who aren't familiar, the Vagina Building--otherwise known as the Smurfit-Stone Building, or the Stone Container--is supposed to have been conceived to reflect a more feminine architecture, as opposed to the standard skyscraper, which is considered phallic in design.

I find the credibility of this theory seriously questionable; however, true or not, I have to wonder how the rumor got started. It certainly doesn't look like my vagina, and if it looks like yours, I'm profoundly sorry.

Nonetheless, the legend persists. Either there is some truth to the story, or I have really pretty girl parts.

Seriously? Seriously.

If you've ever wondered if your doodies are normal, consider Rate My Poo the ultimate authority.

I couldn't make this shit up. Viewer beware.

Mediabistro is reporting today that the 14 year partnership between CNN and the Gallup Poll is officially O-V-E-R.

In a memo dated Wednesday, March 15, CEO Jim Clifton wrote: "We have chosen not to renew our contract with CNN. We have had a great relationship with CNN, but it is not the right alignment for our future."

"CNN has far fewer viewers than it did in the past, and we feel that our brand was getting lost and diluted," Clifton continued. "...We have only about 200,000 viewers during our CNN segments."

In related news, an unofficial Smug Nugget Poll indicates that Gallup Polls suck anyway. You lose. Good day sir.

Thanks to Darren for digging this up. And yes, folks, it is a cat.

A seemingly normal house cat in Tunisia has given birth a litter of five adorable kittens...and one freakish mutant.

Among Minoucha's new litter is a half-cat, half-rat pygmy. The new addition to the family is a normal cat in every way except it has the nose, mouth, ears and feet of a rat.

For more information, including a video, check out this link.

A battle of the blogs is heating up, and dumbing down. Readers of Gawker and/or Perez Hilton can't help but notice the barbs the rival sites have been throwing at each other in recent weeks, beginning with Gawker's disclosure of an email exchange between Perez and a Manhattan PR firm following the 2006 Super Bowl.

Little more than a month later, Gawker went in for the kill by featuring an old profile Perez had posted under pseudonym Tommy Gnosis on a guy-meet-guy website. Clearly old, but OUCH, even so.

Perez acknowledged the post with the kind of class and dignity for which he is so admired in a comment to Gawker's editors, Jesse Oxfeld and Jessica Coen:

Thanks for putting up my college profile. I wish I was as skinny as I was back then, as fake blonde and getting as much sex. Alas, I'm not. But, if anyone is interested, my email is Perez@PerezHilton.com.

Hot guys only. Jesse Oxfeld need not apply. But Jessica Coen should. We hear she has a really big dick!

Way to keep it on the level, Perez. To sustain the momentum, Perez took another jab on his own site today. Click here for the link.

Can't we all just get along?

Heads up, ladies. If you thought you only had to worry about fine lines and wrinkles as you age, think again. A new study suggests that your mediocre taste in television programming could make you dumber than Tony Danza. According to a recent article in Forbes:

New research suggests that elderly women who watch daytime soap operas and talk shows are more likely to suffer from cognitive impairment than women who abstain from such fare.

Researchers stress that it's not clear if watching these TV shows leads to weaker brainpower, or vice-versa . . . But there's definitely "something going on with those two types of television programming," said study co-author Joshua Fogel, an assistant professor of behavioral sciences at Brooklyn College of the City University of New York.

It's a good thing I only watch quality programming, like Flavor of Love.

So an unexpected shout out from Bane of BaneRants has generated a welcome flood of traffic to Smug's little site.

Though grateful for the acknowledgment, many of my new visitors were unfortunately greeted by the image of a masturbating cat.

What a terrible way to make a first impression. I am admittedly juvenile, but not all the time. I encourage you to scroll beyond the filthy feline.

'Nuff said.
Click here to watch the video.

In spite of the fact that most Americans don't pay attention to their Presidential, Senatorial, and Congressional elections, someone in TV land believes that there is an audience for the dog-eat-dog world of high-school politics.

According to Time Magazine, the Lifetime Network has signed political strategists James Carville and Mary Matalin to advise opposing parties in a reality show about a race for high-school class president.

Perhaps Carville and Matalin, who have counseled politicians ranging from Zell Miller to Dick Cheney, were interested in working with a more intelligent group of candidates.

The new show will be called "Election" like the Witherspoon-Broderick flick that I so dearly love; however, I can't imagine that a real campaign for class president will be nearly as tawdry . . . or as entertaining.

I'd like to give a shout out to my Nugget of the Week, Andrew Smart, for his poignant piece in this month's MPH Magazine titled Can a Car Get a Dork Laid?

We always knew Smartie to be a raconteur extraordinaire, and are thrilled to see his skills put to good use in this devastating expose about love and a Lamborghini.

But don't let the pictures fool you; Andrew is a hot piece of ass. More importantly, he enjoys being spanked with a hairbrush.

If anyone out there enjoys his work as much as I do, please hook him up with a little more of it.

While hundreds of thousands of people gathered in protest yesterday to mark the third anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq, President Bush waxed sentimental about Operation Iraqi Freedom in his weekly radio address:

The decision by the United States and our Coalition partners to remove Saddam Hussein from power was a difficult decision -- and it was the right decision. America and the world are safer today without Saddam Hussein in power . . . More fighting and sacrifice will be required to achieve this victory, and for some, the temptation to retreat and abandon our commitments is strong. Yet there is no peace, there's no honor, and there's no security in retreat. So America will not abandon Iraq to the terrorists who want to attack us again. We will finish the mission. By defeating the terrorists in Iraq, we will bring greater security to our own country. And when victory is achieved, our troops will return home with the honor they have earned.

The fact that Georgie is still working the terrorist angle is mindblowing. Someone should try spoon-feeding el Presidente a few helpings of his own steaming shit-pile. And tell him that his face looks like a vagina.

To read the full radio address, click here.