Monday, May 22, 2006 

My job sucks ass

My boss is a gigantic asshole and, quite frankly, I am sick and tired of his shit. After an organizational realignment (correction: upheaval) last month, Bossman (or BM, as I like to call him) has taken great pains to avoid me around the office; not because I'm fired, but because he stuck me with the shortest end of the very shortest stick. So short, in fact, that I could use it as a toothpick, or in a perfect world, as a teeny tiny arrow to shoot into his eye using a crudely fashioned bow made from rubberbands and paper clips.

I have unofficially begun the countdown to "Smell Ya Later"; unfortunately, I have yet to find another job. Since I am sick to death of working the corporate nine-to-five, I am currently considering the following alternatives, which are neither glamorous, nor lucrative:

1. Unprofessional photographer
2. Street-corner mime
3. eBay racketeer
4. Treasure hunter
5. Panhandler
6. Ass sucker (see photo, above)
7. Freelance writer/editor
8. Graduate student/barista at international coffee franchise

I have my personal favorites, but am open to reader feedback and/or suggestions. I am also accepting gifts of cash, food, and beverage. Alcohol is preferred.

lion tamer - no experience? no problem. start with a great looking hat.

smug dealer - first one is free.

boxcar hobo - ride the rails. see the country. call "standing lay" from bismarck, etc.

mariachi - chicago needs more mariachis.

contract killer - inspector, the test results are back. the victim appears to have been blogged to death.

qb for the bears - you can't be any worse than what they have had lately. can't read defenses? throw like a girl? that's exactly what they look for in a qb!

psychic - the sprits are telling me that you need to give me another twenty.

exotic dancer - no, no, hold everything. not naked. I mean doing dances from bulgaria or something.

Bail bondsperson
Brazilian waxer
Collection Technician at local Sperm Bank
Adult Novelty Toy Tester
Seat sniffer at a carnival
Sausage stuffer

PS: Where the hell did you find that pic?

That's one sick pic, do you have any more :) Seriously, I've never done any of that ass-kissing before!

Most people end up hating their job, consider this by Robert G. Allen, best-selling author of "Multiple Streams of Income".......

Good News: If you're like the average person, you earn around $40,000 a year. In your lifetime over a million dollars will flow through your fingers. That's a lot of money. In other words, you're a lifetime millionaire.

Bad News: If you're like most people, you'll spend it all, and, after a lifetime of earning, will end up with almost nothing.

Frankly, nobody teaches us about money. We receive no formal education in the most critical of all life skills--how to become financially successful. Did you ever attend a class in all of your public education entitled, "Money 101?" Why isn't there such a mandatory class in every elementary school?

How have you learned what you know about money? You picked it up, a piece here....a tip there. You absorbed attitudes from your parents, from the media. You observed the examples of friends. You proceeded through trial and error....the school of hard knocks. What you learned was haphazard, mostly wrong, certainly out of context. Most of the books you read about the subject probably overwhelmed you with details or bored you with useless facts. If you're like most, you're confused and frustrated.

Yet, money is one of the most important subjects of your entire life. Some of life's greatest enjoyments and most of life's greatest disappointments stem from your decisions about money. Whether you experience great peace of mind or constant anxiety will depend on getting your finances under control. Your relationships will be greatly affected. 90% of all divorces in our society result from disagreements about money. Understanding money--how to make it and keep it-- is absolutely essential to your life, to your relationships, to your happiness, to your future.

In the 1950s, families could live on one income. More recently it took two wage earners per family to earn the 1950s buying power. Today, even two incomes isn't cutting it.

In the future, people will need a portfolio of income streams -- not one or two -- but many streams from completely different and diversified sources. So that if one streams goes, you barely feel the bump. You're stable. You have time to adjust. You're safe.

Do you have multiple streams of income flowing into your life at this time? Maybe it's time to add another one.

The Power of Residual Streams of Income

So let's assume that you've decided to add another stream of income to your life. You could always get another part time job, but that's not the kind of income I'm talking about. You certainly don't want to get stuck on somebody else's treadmill. You want the kind of streams that you can own.

I'm talking about residual income. That's a fancy term for a "recurring" stream of income that continues to flow whether you're there or not. I've heard too many small business owners say, "I haven't taken a vacation in 5 years." There's something wrong with that picture. I don't have anything against hard work. But after a few short years of hard work, you should be free to have your streams of income forwarded to your mailbox in Tahiti. Get the picture?

Two Types of Streams: Linear and Residual

Not all streams of income are created equal. Some streams are linear, and some are residual. Here's the question that tells you whether your income streams are linear or residual:
"How many times to you get paid for every hour you work?"

If you answered, "only once," then your income is linear. Income streams from a salary are linear. You only get paid once for your effort. And when you don't show up for work, neither does your paycheck.

With residual income you work hard once, and it unleashes a steady flow of income for months or even years. You get paid over and over again for the same effort. Wouldn't it be nice to be compensated hundreds of times for every hour you work?

Linear vs. Residual. Do you see the difference?

The secret of the wealthy is not that they have more money but that they have more TIME freedom. Because many of their streams are residual, they have time to spend on anything they want.

When you view people's lives through the filter of residual income, many groups of people aren't as wealthy as they appear. Doctors and dentists don't earn residual income from their labors. Their income potential is capped. They can only see a fixed number of patients in a day. And they have to be there for every single one of them. That's linear.

The same holds true for top sales people, chiropractors and attorneys. Most of them don't enjoy the power of residual income either. They may appear to be rich but they're on a treadmill just like the rest of us.

What percentage of your income is residual? If you're smart you'll start shifting your income streams from linear to residual. This will give you the time freedom to do what you want when you want. And that starts with turning on at least one new residual stream this year.

One great opportunity to earn residual income is with a company called ACN. Check out their website at www.acninc.com. Contact me with any questions, Deborah, email - bell@acninc.net.

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