So Dark the Con of Man. The son of God and the prostitute did have a child, and it's name is Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.
Sources say the baby girl was born via C-section in Namibia on Saturday. Mother and child are in good health; the couple is thrilled; the doctor says "blah blah blah"; and paparazzi are fighting for pictures.
But the real story is in the Freebrew (French/Hebrew) moniker, Shiloh Nouvel. The Hebrew Shiloh denotes peaceful one -- a title generally reserved for the Messiah, and the French Nouvel means new. Translation: New Messiah. A fitting choice for parents with a God complex, who also enjoy x-rated Biblical role-play.
My favorite part is that Ange opted to use her own name as a template. Apparently two names + two languages = profound baby name.
Angelina (Angel in Italian) + Jolie (Pretty en francais) = Pretty Angel.
Shiloh (Messiah in Hebrew) + Nouvel (New en francais) = New Messiah.
Awww. It's just about perfect -- until you stick a "Pitt" at the end. Maybe Brad will change his surname to "Puit" for the sake of consistency.